things that i should've been shared months ago...

Dear God, what have i done to my blog?
i've been neglected it for how many months?
umm.. let's take a peek..
... waw! it's been 3 months since i put my latest post on this blog! aw aw. x)


last time i posted a blog i'm still 19 years old. now i'm in a big 20. yep, i'm no longer in the teenagers age era. i'm a twenty something woman! ~♥

hha. one thing that u shud know about this number is, it's pretty intimidating! yep. u have no idea how scared i am in the last minutes of my 19.. i actually already gettin worried from about a month before my bday. i realize that soon i'm gonna leave 19. and i'm havin a new number in the chapter of my life. one simple number before the others, 2. yep. turning 1 into 2 is actually intimidating for me. and it needed a very long process of thinking, cz i'm very aware of what's comin up to me. i'm gonna have a much much more responsibility, demands, expectations, etc etc. from people around me even from my own self.

i'm gonna be ashamed with my age if i still doing stupid things, having a short thinking, getting too reckless and sloppy, etc etc
i might be not having too much fun in my teenager, but that's the best i can do. i am now have to prepare for the upcoming era(s) in my life..

a day before i turned 20, i was getting oh-so-worry. i flashbacked what i've been done for almost 20 years i lived. i actually became hysteric that my time being 19 was almost up!
a night before i turned 20, i spent my time in my friends' house. we were havin so much fun that i'm almost forget that i'm turning 20 tonight! we were playin cards and truth or dare till late. but i couldn't help when the game stopped 2 hours before midnight and i was suddenly cryin' bcos i have so little time left on my 19! just couldn't accept all those reality comin up to me then. :'(
an hour before i turned 20, i left my friends' house, and my friend suddenly stopped in a sidewalk warong near pucang civil market to have dinner. and i just can't stop worrying about the time~! waay too overworried. i couldn't even laugh anymore, i was gettin scaared in a way that i couldn't describe.
i went to the car alone and cried so hard until i couldn't think. one of my bestie, Nona, tried to catch up with me, but i really needed a time alone. i called my best Hilma, just to cry. i told her what i was feeling. i cried more and more out loud! and yes after that i was soo relieved~! :)

it turned out that i only need a little time alone only to cry and let the bad feelings and thoughts out of my head! last cry in my 19th! ;)

then i came out from the car, ready to face my 20. apparently my luvliest besties already set up a (last time) sweet surprise for me! ♥

very first nicest things on my 20:
1. a great surprise from my bests (:inka, nona, della ..) and from some great new friends (:dede, rifky, nono, memed ..)
2. a nice birthday 'cake': terang bulan, which taste the best in my mouth! ^^
3. my best hilma, which encourage me before to face my 20, and the first one greetings me happy bday! :)
4. a sweet street singer that cheers up my night by playin some nice songs that made us all sing together all nite
5. very simple place but soo sweet to celebrate my 20: lesehan warung tempe penyet depan pasar pucang
6. lovely presents from my besties!

the most important thing is,
i can never be this tough without my besties around me.. i knew that i'm definitely ready leaving my 19 and entering my 20, when i realize that i'm not alone in this. i have 3 wonderful bestfriends near me, 2 great bestfriends in jakarta and hundreds hundreds of nice friends with me to face this. no need to worry! ;)

and not only those, i of course have a wonderful family that means so much in my heart.
and i can be this grateful bcos my Great Lord never forget to have me fully blessed with many wonderful things. alhamdulillah. i just can't stop being so thankful seconds after seconds! ♥


just like the backsound of my birthday, it's too sweet to forget~! =)


p.s. i'll updated this post to add some MORE pics and videos later! ;)